True Respect, False Respect
by Michael Lame, posted on Nov. 19, 2009
“Did Obama grovel?” asks the AP headline.
“Washington (AP) – Some conservative commentators seized on President Barack Obama’s deep bow to Japan’s Emperor Akihito over the weekend, accusing the U.S. commander in chief of groveling before a foreign leader.
“So did he?”
According to the State Department, “Protocol, in general, is about respecting the customs and traditions of a host country. The president was simply showing respect.”
Showing genuine respect for that which deserves respect makes sense – both political sense and common sense. But when is a show of respect just that – a show? And when does that show hit a false note?
Over the last several decades, Western leaders have been increasingly careful to honor diversity, to show respect for different religions and cultures, and to empathize with the suffering of others. These are healthy developments, provided that the honor, respect, and empathy do not result in undermining essential distinctions. There are genuine, critical, and irreducible differences between various cultures, ethnicities, religions, and political systems. These differences reflect the deepest of human beliefs and hopes.
Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are not interchangeable, nor are their values identical. Abraham, in the Tanach, may or may not refer to the same man as Ibrahim, in the Qur’an. One God is worshipped by adherents of all three faiths. It does not necessarily follow, however, that they all worship the same God. The current popular presumption, voiced by numerous religious leaders from all sides, is that “Elohim,” “God,” and “Allah” are simply names in different languages for the same Deity. Perhaps they are. Perhaps they are not.
Diplomats, peace activists, and conflict resolvers with the best of intentions may seek to blur the distinctions, but we cannot respect our differences without acknowledging their existence.
Japanese culture and American culture are obviously quite different. An American can show respect for Japan’s traditions without pretending to share them. For a Japanese person to bow before the emperor of Japan is an appropriate sign of deference, even reverence. But what rings true in behavior between two Japanese is not necessarily appropriate for non-Japanese. To this observer it seemed that Barack Obama’s bow before the emperor struck a false note. After all, Akihito is not his emperor. Nor can we say that bowing for Japanese is like shaking hands for Americans. If that were the case, the emperor would have bowed back to the president, which he did not.
In a similar way, honorific titles bestowed upon religious figures are appropriate when used by adherents of that religion. “Your Holiness the Pope” is a completely legitimate form of address when the pope is spoken to by a Catholic. But for Protestants, there’s nothing particularly holy about a pope. Christians don’t recognize the holiness of the Qur’an or the prophetic mission of Muhammad. Jews don’t accept Buddhism or its leaders as holy. Therefore, it is false respect for a Protestant to speak of the pope as “his holiness.” It is false respect for a Christian to speak of “the holy Qur’an” or of “the prophet Muhammad, may peace be upon him.” It is false respect for a Jew to speak of “his holiness the Dalai Lama.” And it is false respect for the president of the United States of America to bow before any other head of state, whether his title is Emperor, King, Big Brother, or Supreme Leader.
Captain Horatio Hornblower, in one of his seagoing adventures, encountered a Central American megalomaniac who called himself and insisted that others call him El Supremo. In the 1951 film version, starring Gregory Peck, the incredulous Hornblower, on first hearing of this, responds, “El Supremo? That means the Almighty.” When Hornblower meets the diminutive ruler, he addresses him as “señor” but is immediately rebuked: “Human beings do not address me as señor.” Of course, we can each call ourselves whatever we wish, but that doesn’t mean that others must adhere to our wishes.
In the wake of Iran’s stolen election and subsequent violent repression of dissent, is it still appropriate for Ayatollah Khamenei to be dignified by our president’s referring to him as Iran’s “Supreme Leader”? The title itself implies a legitimacy which now seems unwarranted.
Ways must be found to show honest, authentic respect between nations and, in particular, between peoples in conflict – without creating a false impression that we all believe the same or think the same or share the same values when we don’t. Nor should we allow a misimpression that we accept, honor, or respect others’ values or actions which we don’t.
We should not bow down before other people’s leaders. Neither should we bow down before other people’s beliefs about the future or their interpretations of the past. The Native American view of the last 500 years is necessarily different from that of “the white man.” Both views have power as historical interpretations. Neither tells the whole story.
How can people speak with respect to their adversaries regarding matters still in contention? No episode of modern Middle Eastern history is more contentious – to this day – than the events of 1948.
There is more than one interpretation of what happened that year, and the known facts do not all point in one direction. It is no more appropriate for Jews to call the ’48 war al Nakba, the Catastrophe, than it is for Arabs to call it the War of Independence. The outcome was a disaster for the Palestinians and a cause of celebration for the Jews.
For Israeli Jews, ’48 remains a source of pride and honor. The recent writings of Israel’s “new historians” temper that traditional Israeli view without fundamentally undermining it. Yet Israelis can – if they wish – listen and learn and empathize enough to begin to appreciate the tragedy visited upon the Palestinians in ’48, who lost home and homeland. Still, the partisan interpretations and the judgments of the past are unlikely to change any time soon.
One can show respect for another’s suffering without agreeing with his view of the past or his political agenda. An Israeli can express understanding for Palestinian perspectives without embracing or endorsing Palestinian political aspirations. The reverse is also true, though given the power differential, it may be asking much more of Palestinians to step into Israelis’ shoes and appreciate that point of view.
This is one area in which Israeli and Palestinian political leaders have consistently failed. They have not spoken with real respect to the people on the other side. They may have demonstrated a superficially respectful demeanor, correct and polite, but genuine respect goes far beyond that.
Whether in the Far East or the Middle East, customs matter, titles matter, differences matter, and perhaps most of all, respect matters.